Mr./Mister, Miss, Mrs. etc. used with forenames/first names (2024)

Good evening everyone,

I am curious about the usage of the word in the title of this thread. I met an English teacher today, he’s a colleague of mine. He comes from Congo. He uses this word when he addresses me, e.g.: (It was nice to meet you,) Mr Thomas/Tom. I must admit I had never come across this word being used this way. I have come across it though with reference to politicians in newspapers or news reports used along with their surnames. My questions are: is this word used like that often? What sort of connotation does it convey? If he addresses me like that should I follow the way too while addressing him? When do you use it like that?

Input appreciated.

Tom

Thomas1 said:

Good evening everyone,

I am curious about the usage of the word in the title of this thread. I met an English teacher today, he’s a colleague of mine. He comes from Congo. He uses this word when he addresses me, e.g.: (It was nice to meet you,) Mr Thomas/Tom. I must admit I had never come across this word being used this way. I have come across it though with reference to politicians in newspapers or news reports used along with their surnames. My questions are: is this word used like that often? What sort of connotation does it convey? If he addresses me like that should I follow the way too while addressing him? When do you use it like that?

Input appreciated.

Tom

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Hi Tom,

In general, we do not use the term "Mister" when addressing someone by their Christian name; only when using the surname.

I can understand your colleague from the Congo calling you "Mister Thomas". Sadly, some people of different skin colour still feel the need to be ultra polite, almost subservient.

If you are addressed as "Mister" I suggest that you tell the person to call you Tom or Thomas, then politely ask how your colleague would like to be addressed.

Formality is cultural, and thus varies from group to group.

I agree with The Scrivener that you should invite your colleague to adopt the mode that is considered appropriate in your circle, and also be prepared to grant him the kindness of using a convention with which he is comfortable.

Here in Ireland, the use of "Mister" as a form of address is in terminal decline. It is still sometimes used when addressing somebody of higher station -- for example by a young employee addressing a much senior staff member.

Thank you for the answers.

A follow-up question:
If it's not generally used like that, in what kind of situations is it used this way then?
Padraig, do you, Irish I mean, use it with ones Christian name or only with surnames?

Tom

The Scrivener said:

I can understand your colleague from the Congo calling you "Mister Thomas". Sadly, some people of different skin colour still feel the need to be ultra polite, almost subservient.

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I think this is patronizing in the extreme. If a Congolese gentleman addressed me this way, I would not think he was feeling the need to be "subservient" because he was black and I am not. I would instead assume that in his own language one did not use a first name without an honorific, and he was merely translating directly -- much as a Japanese person might address an English friend as "Mary-san" or "Henry-san". If one thought "this means Mr. Henry in English, and the Japanese say this because they feel the need to be almost subservient when addressing white people", one would be very, very wrong.

The only place I have heard this, if old films are to be believed, was when servants were addressing the children of the employer/master Sometimes Master would be used instead of Mister (my grandmother, from Scotland, always addressed letters to me as to Master Joe McBlow). Regardless of this, the term is now never heard, or at least I have never heard it in use.

Vinlander

Vinlander said:

Regardless of this, the term is now never heard, or at least I have never heard it in use.

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Please be aware that the fact that you have never heard something should not be taken as an indication that the word or practice is not in use, and perhaps even common use, by other people.

Note that nearly all U.S. newspapers have dropped the use of courtesy titles, i.e. "Mr." on second reference.

One notable exception is the New York Times.

panjandrum said:

In my part of The Island, and I believe in Padraig's, it would be unusual to say Mr <forename>.
As he says, use of Mister is in decline, but if used at all it would be Mr <surname>.

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Nowadays, I only use "Mister" when I am upset

"Get back here, Mister! I am talking to you!"

But that's just me, of course.

(I actually call my boss by his given name..............)

In school (high school and lower) we call our teachers "Mr. so-and-so" (in college you call them Professor so-and-so). I also call my friends parents Mr./Mrs. It is usually (or at least should be, I think) used as a sign of respect when there is a substantial age gap between the two people.

In your example, I agree with what people said above that maybe it is used with one's first name instead of their last name. Also, maybe he didn't know your last name (I'm just guessing) and so used your first name as a replacement. Also, keep in mind that there are always some people that just do things differently just because, maybe he's one of them.

Vinlander said:

The only place I have heard this, if old films are to be believed, was when servants were addressing the children of the employer/master

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Or the elderly parent of the employer, as in the film "Driving Miss Daisy."

I am under the impression that it may still be used in some of the Southern states of the U.S. I have been addressed this way twice (first name preceded by "Miss"), each time when I was younger, by an older African-American gentleman from the South. I found it a bit odd, because I'm not from the South and had never heard the usage outside of films and television, but in each instance the man in question was being very polite, even gallant.

panjandrum said:

In my part of The Island, and I believe in Padraig's, it would be unusual to say Mr <forename>.
As he says, use of Mister is in decline, but if used at all it would be Mr <surname>.

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Confirmed.

Hello all,

I would like to ask you if we say "Mr John" or "Ms Helen" without using their surname. Like i.e. Ms Helen is not here.

Thank you in advance

It depends on the context - which you ought to have given us.

The answer is - not usually.

But I'm thinking of an office where there are two solicitors called John Todd and Jim Todd. The receptionist might well tell callers that only Mr John is available as Mr Jim is out.

Rover

Thank you guys.

I was trying to figure out (in a text I'm translating) if one is speaking in a polite or informal way, because in Greek there is a distinction in the tense used in these two cases.

Thank you so much.

I know that the following are okay:

Full Name: John Smith
a) Mr John Smith
b) Mr Smith

Full Name: Ms Mary Walter
a) Ms Mary Walter
b) Ms Walter

Is it unnatural or awkward to use the first name with titles?

a) Mr John
b) Ms Mary

It is not usual practice. You will however sometimes hear it in conversational English, usually jokingly.

You would certainly not be going into a business meeting with somebody called "John Smith" and addressing him as "Mr John"!

(Of course, it's a different matter for names from countries such as China, where the surname precedes given names).

It is common for children to address their elders (non-family members) by title and first name, but it is much less common as one gets to late elementary school.

For example, a kindergartener would refer to the high school students that care for them after school as Miss Emily or Mister Jason, but a 13- or 14-year-old student would almost certainly call them Emily or Jason.

This construction was used here long ago by servants as a term of address.

It's also current elsewhere.

I'm adding this question to a previous thread on the same topic.